Friday, December 24, 2010

I hope 30 isn't too old for a Christmas hissy fit. Because I'm having one.

I'm throwing a Christmas hissy fit today.

Nothing is going the way I wanted it to and instead of stomping my foot and throwing myself on the floor, wailing like a bratty kid I'm going to throw myself on my couch and wail on my blog like a bratty adult.

I generally avoid making To-Do Lists because they either overwhelm me or it's inevitable that as soon as my day is planned out on paper, it will NOT go as planned.

Today is one of those days.

Instead of doing Christmas gifts this year we're buying a new chair for our living room. I'm pretty excited to get this new chair, as it will be the very first piece of furniture I've ever purchased from an actual furniture store (which makes me feel like I'm finally passing Adulthood Initiation 101). I've been waiting for the Christmas furniture sales so when they finally advertised a 30% off sale, I was in 7th Heaven!

I thought it appropriate to wait until Christmas Eve to order our "Christmas" chair so I wake up early eager with excitement. I plop myself down with credit card in hand to call in the order only to find the store is closed for the holiday. Since my office is closed for the holiday, I won't complain that they're closed too. But what I will complain about is they changed their sale from 30% off furniture to 60% on MATTRESSES.

But.

But.

But I don't wanna mattress.

I wanna chair! {arms folded, lips pouted, foot stomping}

After some serious pouting time, I try to get myself together and move on to the next thing on my List. Get haircut. So I call only to find out there's already an hour and a half wait.

So there goes that.

Fine.

Fine.

I don't like getting my haircut anyway, so there! {lip pouted, head turned to the side feigning indifference}

Next thing on my list is to find Adam an ugly Christmas sweater that he'd been looking for. So I battle my way to stores on Christmas Eve fighting frantic husbands looking for last minute gifts for their wives and kids with hopes of finding the ugliest Christmas sweater EVER.

First stop: Goodwill, nope.

Second stop: Salvation Army, where I contemplate calling my mom to tell her I love her because I'm not sure I'm going to make it out of there alive because people are looking a little....how shall I put this delicately...."unsavory" but no sweater.

Third stop, my beloved Target where I walk in, sigh in relief and loosen the death-grip I have on purse but alas, still no sweater.

Fourth stop, K-Mart where I thought for sure they'd have ugly sweaters but no, no sweaters just broken dreams.

So after four stores, I walk away empty handed. The only thing that's full is my eyes as I feel the sting of childish tears of disappointment of not finding what I wanted.

It's funny because this morning actually started off on a positive note. I had sent a message into the universe that "Yes, Mandy will be winning the Minnesota Millionaire drawing.......hum da da duuuh.......Come to me money......." So after deliberating over which gas station I want to get credit for selling me said winning lottery ticket, I confidently stride in to buy it.

Only to be told that they're sold out.

I attempt to force my facial muscles into a smile as I grip the counter, fighting the urge to throw myself on the wet floor, kicking and screaming- or worse yet, reaching across the counter and grabbing the poor unsuspecting employee and screaming my frustration in his face as if it's his fault that all of my problems today are really the end result of my own procrastination.

Merry Pity Party. Oops, I mean Merry Christmas.

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