The first time I said "it"

Back when I was in 7th grade I fell pretty hard for my best friend's neighbor boy. He was the typical all American boy-next-door bad boy. He had a slight mullet (hey, don't judge me) but I liked him anyway because he was......well let's be honest, I didn't have a car or any other prospects, he was convenient.

Even though my friend liked him too, I was ever the selfish one and asked him "out" first but of course we'd never actually go anywhere. Luckily my bestie quickly forgave me for pulling a sneak attack and asking him out first. Ho's before bros!

After our first week of going out, I was ready. It was time to take the next step-I was ready to be in love- just like the characters in relationships on 90210.....we'd go on dates....hold hands.....go to the movies....be all ooey gooey lovey dovey, it was going to be fantastic!

So I took the plunge.

I called my boyfriend and as we sit there awkwardly silent on the phone, I'm giving myself a mental pep-talk "ok, I can do this!".

I was nervous about my first declaration of love, so I prepped him by saying "Ok..... I have something to tell you but I'm embarrassed so I'm going to just say it and then hang up, you don't need to say anything because I'm just gonna hang up, okay?"

I get the typical response I get when I make someone uncomfortable and they don't know how to respond to me: ".....uh....okay...."

Deep breath.

"I love you." CLICK. I quickly hang up the phone.

I sit there feeling giddy and embarrassed and excited. Teeeheeehee, I said it!

Very quickly the high of adrenaline wears off and I start to feel unfulfilled and let down. Does he love me back?? Did he say he loved me too and I hung up on him?? Does he know that I'm not at home so if he wants to call me back, he'd have to call me at my friend's house?? Did he even hear me??

So I do what any clueless 7th grader would do.

I call him back.

"Did you hear what I said before I hung up the phone?"

"Yep."

".....Did you say anything back? Because if you did, I didn't hear you because I hung up.......So.....Did you say anything back?"

"Nope."

Oh.

So there it is. My first declaration of love was not reciprocated- actually it was hardly even acknowledged.

Needless to say, my first love and I eventually parted ways a few days later, hey 7th grade relationships never last . He later starts dating someone named "Trixie" and I can't help but feel like I dodged a bullet.