3 weeks and they haven't called....

I've never really been an athletic person. As a child, I really tried to be good at sports but my lack of balance, coordination and attention span has always got in the way. My mom was always getting me to try new things and explore the different types of sports in hopes to find one that I was good at. I tried gymnastics, swimming, tennis, soccer, basketball, softball and after failing at those 6 different kinds of sports she tried community drama, which didn't really work for me either because they made me the narrator. Narrator?? With as much drama as my body possesses they insult me with narrator? I think not.

So when I got a call three weeks ago to be a volleyball sub, I knew I wasn't their first choice. I learned later that all 5 players had called just about every girl they've ever met but I was the only one that could do it, so I was their last resort. Yep, their last.

So I got the call and was pretty hesitant to join in for two reasons:
#1. Me and volleyball have never really gotten along. I've always hated volleyball because with non-existent pain tolerance like mine, it hurts too much! And it's hard to play when you're crying like a baby in the corner because your wrists hurt.

#2. Knowing that it was "sand volleyball" I was scared that there'd be teams of cute little twenty-somethings (I can say that now that I'm 30. ugh) professional volleyball players in tiny little bikinis running around. I had just finished my workout so I was already sweaty in my basketball shorts and t-shirt, so joining a team of itty-bitty gym bunnies in bikinis wasn't really on my To-Do List for the evening.

But they needed help, so I made it abundantly clear to my friend that I had zero volleyball playing ability and told her no less than three times to be sure to tell the rest of the team this. And if they really, needed a 6th person, I could be a warm body on the court.

So I said yes, knowing this was not going to turn out well.

Luckily it's a bar league so I get there and there's already a pitcher of beer on the picnic table. I promptly order two more because courage doesn't come from within- it comes from beer, trust me on this. And I needed some courage, I didn't know anyone on the team other than the friend that asked me to come (and she clearly doesn't know me well since she thinks I could actually play) and my neighbor that came to support me in my I-know-this-is-going-to-be-embarrassing volleyball debut. Plus I was scared the other players didn't get the memo about my lack of skills and thought I was coming with some ability to play.

Nope, it's just me. Don't get your hopes up.

After a little beer time, I join the set that's already in progress and I'm lucky enough to avoid the ball most of the time. You know it's bad when you're on a team and all you do is silently chant "please don't come to me, please don't come to me" over and over and over.

I was going to be there for a total of 4 games. Game one was relatively painless....I don't think I actually touched the ball once. Which is exactly my kind of volleyball playing!

Beer Break.

Game two, I got a couple hits in- some went over the net, some didn't.

Beer Break.

Game three, we got creamed. They hit almost every single shot to the poor guy next to me who's actually a pretty good player but since he weighed 100lbs soaking wet I can understand why they'd assume he wouldn't be. I think I got a couple more shots in, again some went over and some didn't.

Beer Break.

Game four....Okay I'm feeling relaxed now, I haven't made a complete and total ass of myself, I've gotten a handful of good hits in, and the beer confidence is kicking in. I'm in the middle of the back row where all the balls go, but it's okay because I'm pretty much a professional volleyball player by now so you'd better get outta my way.

A ball sails over the net with a perfect arc heading straight for me but just a little short of where I am standing so I run forward to get it, with my arms extended in the customary volleyball stance.

Well my legs got a little overzealous and went further then I wanted them to go.

Volleyball comes down.

Ball comes down to where my hands SHOULD be, but because my legs got a little crazy, my face ends up in that exact same spot as to where my hands should be.

Volleyball hits face.

Volleyball bounces off face.

Volleyball goes over the net off face-shot.

Mandy falls to her knees.

Mandy then falls on her back.

The first logical thing out of Mandy's mouth as the two teams are "oh my gosh"ing and "is she all right??" is: "did it make it over?"

And yes folks, my face scored one of the few points of that game. I'm going to ignore the fact that the other team was probably missed because they were so shocked/concerned about the fact that the ball just came off of my face because it doesn't matter: a part of my body still got the ball over the net and scored a point!

Yep, I'm kind of a big deal now because of one night of volleyball playing where I wasn't the worst one on the team minus the face-shot incident.

And I had a really great time playing!

But it's funny.... I subbed for them three weeks ago and they haven't called to ask me to do it again....