There's going to be a new infomercial soon- "Victoria's Secret" won't be a "secret" much longer

I recently went to my local Victoria's Secret to be fitted for a new bra. I had been putting this off for months and months but when I got a gift certificate, I knew it was the universe's way of telling me it's really time to get a fitting.

So off I go to get myself one of their cute little signature bags filled with pink tissue paper and the perfect bra.

It had been a while since as I was last fitted and times have really changed since then.

A consultant, I'll call her Helpful Heather, measured me in the hallway and handed me a bra to try on. She said when I had it on, I was to push the little doorbell-like button in my room.

So I did what I was told- I had it on, pushed the button and waited. I hear keys jingling, my fitting room door opens and she enters.

Whoa.

I guess I saw this coming but that didn't stop the awkward giggle that escaped me as I'm standing shirtless in front of a stranger who proceeded to jiggle my boobs with a straight face while making conversation test the straps.

I'm a pretty modest girl so this whole experience was kinda tough for me to swallow but I was on a mission to get the perfect bra so I told myself to suck up my self consciousness and stop that nervous giggle as she jiggled away.

She exits the room and hands me 5 more bras to try on. Within 30 seconds of her handing me the new ones, she's at my door asking if I'm ready for jiggle-test #2.

Uh, no but feel free to check back in 5.7 seconds....

Which she does.

This will be a whole lot easier if when I'm ready to be jiggle-tested again, I'll just let you know.

The bra has a huge security tag that's practically the size of a candy bar that they courteously attached exactly where the clasp is.

Thanks jerk. You know it was some guy with the security-tag-gun standing there giggling like "hehe, she'll never be able to put this on if I put it right....there. bang."

So I'm standing there, topless in a fitting room with Helpful Heather pounding on the door trying to get in but I can't get the stupid thing on because I'm totally panicking.

I have to give it back to her so she can adjust the tag.

Ah...much better this time because a woman did it.

She comes in, jiggles away and leaves.

On to the next one.

I soon discovered that the security tags are placed right on the clasp of all the bras.

Awesome.

I decided that Victoria's Secret's dressing rooms are bugged with cameras for America's Funniest Girls Gone Wild Homevideo as they tape unsuspecting women struggle to try new bras on.